Courting Will (Escape To The West Book 8) Read online

  Will disagreed, but he didn’t say so.

  I am calm. I am most definitely not panicking.

  Doctor Wilson picked up his bag and walked to the door. “I’ll bring Mei back with me in a couple of hours and check on Mrs. Raine again. If Mei thinks it’s necessary to stay, she will.” He smiled. “She’s much better at this than I am, believe me.”

  Will wanted every medically trained person within a twenty mile radius there, but he’d heard enough women praise Mrs. Wilson’s midwifery skills to know Doctor Wilson was right. And he couldn’t expect both the doctor and his wife to stay with them for forty hours, if it took that long. They had their own children to take care of.

  None of that made him any less worried though.

  Doctor Wilson laid a hand on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Mrs. Raine is young and strong, and the baby’s heartbeat is healthy. Everything will be just fine.”

  Will nodded and tried to smile, although it felt more like a grimace. “Thanks, Doc.”

  While Dan showed the doctor out, Will sat on the bed beside Sara. “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m all right. A little nervous, but that’s to be expected. I’m fairly sure I’m less afraid than you and Daniel.”

  He winced. “I’m sorry. I’m trying to be strong. This is very far beyond what I’m comfortable with.”

  “I know, but I’m glad you’re here for Daniel. He seems a bit shaky right now.”

  Will had seen his brother looking better, he had to agree. “He is looking a mite pale.”

  “I thought he might actually pass out while the doctor was examining me.”

  Will snorted. “It’s a good thing he won’t be with you for the actual birth. He might never recover.”

  She burst into laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” Dan asked, walking in.

  “Nothing,” Sara said, before dissolving into another bout of giggles.

  He walked over to sit on the other side of the bed. “You’re laughing at me, aren’t you?” When neither of them replied, he heaved a sigh. “It’s a good thing I love you so much.” He leaned forward to kiss her forehead.

  “Ma and Pa should be here soon,” Will told them. “And I met Daisy in town and she said she’ll be here as soon as she’s taken Nicky to her folks. She also said she’d tell Amy when she passed the livery, so I reckon Amy will tell Louisa and Jo.”

  “We’ll need more food for supper then,” Sara said.

  Will and Dan glanced at each other, and Will could see his brother was thinking the same thing he was.

  “Sooo…” he said slowly, “does that mean we can leave the cooking to Ma?”

  ~ ~ ~

  Will couldn’t remember there ever being so many people in the house at once before.

  His parents came, of course. With Sara’s family in New York City, she’d become as close as a real daughter to her mother and father-in-law. Amy arrived soon after with Jo. Louisa decided she wasn’t up to watching something she’d be going through herself in three months’ time, but she sent her best.

  Pastor and Mrs. Jones arrived a little later and everyone prayed around Sara. After that, Dan seemed to have more peace, and the Joneses left an hour later.

  And then, of course, there was Daisy. She arrived not long after Will’s parents, and although she and Will didn’t speak to each other, her mere presence made him feel better. It was almost physically painful to have her so close and yet so far, but he didn’t want her anywhere else.

  She glanced at him on occasion. He glanced at her a lot more than that. Despite the crowd of people crammed into their small living room, he always knew where she was, even when he wasn’t actually looking at her. It was as if they were joined by an invisible tether, and when he looked round, there she was, right where he thought she’d be.

  Every so often Sara would tense with another contraction, and everyone in the room would hold their breath as if they were the ones in pain. Then they would all release a collective sigh of relief when it was over.

  “I’m glad you all weren’t there when I was in labor,” Jo said, after the fifth time it happened.

  “We would have been there,” Amy replied, “but you didn’t let Zach tell us until afterwards.”

  Jo waved her hands to encompass them all. “And this is exactly why. I preferred to go through the searing agony without an audience.”

  “Do you mind?” Sara protested.

  Jo smiled at her. “Sorry. That’s why I preferred to go through the not at all painful process of pushing a child out of my body without an audience.”

  “I was all alone when Will was born,” his mother said. “Simeon wasn’t even there. He was two weeks early and came out so fast I could barely get to the bed. My water broke and out he popped.”

  “Ma,” Will said in a pained voice, “must you?”

  She ignored him. “Fortunately, after having had two others, I knew how it went.” She smiled fondly. “He had the cutest little…”

  “Ma!”

  “…feet,” she finished. She looked at his size thirteen boots. “They’ve grown a bit since then.”

  “Popping right out sounds good right now,” Sara remarked, wincing as she shifted on the settee where she sat beside Daniel.

  Will’s mother reached out to take her hand. “It’ll all be over soon, and you’ll forget about this part and just remember what it was like to hold your baby for the first time.”

  Sara smiled tearfully at her mother-in-law. “I’m so glad you’re here.” She looked around the room, at Will and Dan’s father, Amy, Jo and Daisy, and Will. “I’m so glad you’re all here. I love you all so very much.”

  There was a chorus of “aww”s and a flurry of hugs after that, amongst the women, at least. Even Bess joined in.

  Will, Dan and their father made a quick exit before anyone had a chance to include them, under the pretense of getting the animals into the barn. And then, because they were out there anyway, they got the animals into the barn.

  Will stayed outside when Dan and their father deemed it safe enough to go back into the house, sitting on the bench on the porch and watching the last of the light bathe the tops of the distant mountains in an orange-red glow.

  After a few minutes, the kitchen door opened and Daisy stepped out.

  Without saying anything, she sat at the far end of the bench, and there was a minute of silence. Just long enough to make him think she might not actually speak to him.

  And then, “Nicky misses you.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Don’t be sorry. You can’t be sorry for something you could easily change.”

  He sighed. “Daisy…”

  “He doesn’t understand why you aren’t coming round anymore.” She moved her gaze to her hands entwined in her lap. “The truth is, I don’t understand either. I miss you.”

  She couldn’t have caused him more pain if she’d reached into his chest and clawed out his heart.

  “I miss you, too.” The words were out before he could think to stop them.

  She closed her eyes and shook her head. “Then why? Can’t you at least tell me that?”

  He wanted to tell her, but how could he? It wasn’t just the shame. If he did tell her, if he admitted that he wanted nothing more than to be with her but that he couldn’t because it would put her in danger, she’d tell him it didn’t matter. She’d say she could look after herself, and that he was overreacting because of his own guilt.

  And he’d be too weak to argue, because he missed her so much.

  “I can’t. I just can’t. But it isn’t anything you’ve done.”

  She fixed him with a look. “I know that.”

  Of course she did. She was Daisy.

  “Good.”

  She was quiet for a while. Too quiet.

  “Why aren’t you angrier?” Will said eventually, when the silence began to unnerve him.

  Daisy wasn’t a woman who kept her feelings to herself. If she was annoyed, Will always
knew about it. Doubly so if she was annoyed at him.

  “I am angry, but there are people in there who would hear the shouting if I showed just how angry I am, and who would notice the blood and bruises.”

  He stared at her, aghast. “I would never hurt you!”

  “I wasn’t talking about me.”

  He wasn’t entirely sure she was joking, and strangely, that made him want to smile. Although he didn’t. “Oh.”

  “I just wish you would trust me.”

  “I do trust you. It’s me that’s the problem. I’m not a man who should be a husband and father. I thought things could be different, but I was wrong.”

  “Then I wish you would trust yourself,” she whispered.

  He opened his mouth and closed it again. He had no answer to that.

  Shaking her head, she stood. “You’re a fool, Will Raine. For your sake, I hope it won’t be too late when you finally realize it.”

  And with that she walked inside, leaving him alone on the bench, staring into the dusk.

  He already knew he was a fool. He’d just been one for too long to do anything about it.

  ~ ~ ~

  Doctor Wilson returned at eight thirty, bringing his wife with him, and Sara and Mrs. Wilson disappeared into the bedroom. They emerged again a few minutes later.

  “Baby’s not quite ready to come out,” Mrs. Wilson said to the packed room, “but I’ll stay anyway, if you have space for me. I think it’ll be sometime during the night.”

  So Mrs. Wilson stayed, Doctor Wilson went home to look after their children, and everyone shuffled around to make room.

  Sara went to bed soon afterwards, Dan going with her. He was removed by his mother half an hour later because there wasn’t enough room for everyone to stay if he took the bed with Sara.

  “Not everyone needs to stay,” Dan said quietly to her in the kitchen while Will dried the dishes his father was washing.

  “Yes, they do,” she replied. “Sara needs her friends, and you need us. It’s only for one night. I’ll look after her, you know that.”

  So the women, including Bess, took the house, with Dan’s mother on the bed with Sara and everyone else arrayed over chairs and cushions and whatever else they could find. The men were sent to the bunkhouse with assurances that someone would fetch them when the time came.

  There were two narrow beds in the bunkhouse. Two beds for three men. Daniel brought a bedroll from the house.

  He, Will, and their father stood side by side, considering their options.

  “I should have one of the beds,” Dan said, “since this is likely the last night I’ll get to sleep.”

  “I should get the other,” their father said.

  Will glanced at him. “Why?”

  “Because I’m your father and I said so. I’m in charge.”

  “We’re not children anymore. And if anything, Ma’s the one in charge.”

  “I should still get a bed.”

  Will pursed his lips. “Well, I should get a bed too.”

  Dan and their father turned their gazes on him.

  “And what’s your excuse?” Dan asked.

  “Because…” Will thought quickly. “Because they’re my beds. And I’m the best looking one.”

  “Technically, they’re my beds, since I own them,” Dan pointed out. “And I’m the best looking one anyway.”

  “You both got your looks from me,” their father said.

  “We should draw straws,” Will suggested, because it was the only chance he’d get to sleep in his own bed.

  His father and older brother gave him level stares.

  They didn’t draw straws, and Will ended up on the bedroll. There were downsides to being the youngest. He’d have probably given his bed to Dan anyway, but he would have liked the option.

  “How’re you holding up?” their father asked Dan once they’d settled on their respective beds and bedroll.

  “I’m fine,” he replied, entirely unconvincingly.

  “He’s a nervous wreck,” Will said.

  Dan leaned over the edge of Will’s bed to glare down at him where he lay on the floor. Will grinned up at him. Loyalty went out the window when you took a man’s bed.

  “No shame in that,” their father said. “So was I, when James was born. A little less when Dan came along.”

  “And apparently you didn’t even bother showing up for my arrival,” Will said.

  His father snorted a laugh. “Not my fault you couldn’t wait to get out.”

  “Where were you anyway?”

  “I’d taken Daniel with me to fetch James from school. It was a bit of a shock when we got back to find your ma lying on the bed with you in her arms, all wrinkled and covered with blood and fluids, and your cord still attached.”

  Will grimaced. “I think this may be too much information.”

  “And the afterbirth…”

  “Stop! Please!”

  “Yes, please stop,” Dan said. “My wife is about to go through the same thing.”

  Their father chuckled. “Birth is a messy business. You get to know that after three of them. Sara will be just fine. You both will. And I’ll have another grandchild.” There was a pause. “How about you, Will? How are things going with Daisy? Are the two of you any closer to making Nicky my grandson?”

  Will hadn’t told his parents anything about calling off their courtship. There would have been questions to which he didn’t have answers.

  “It didn’t work out,” he muttered, fixing his eyes on the ceiling.

  His father rolled over to look down at him. “Why not? What did you do?”

  When Will didn’t reply, his father looked at Dan.

  “Don’t ask me,” Dan replied. “He hasn’t told me why either.”

  “Daisy’s good for you,” their pa said. “Whatever you’ve done, fix it.”

  If only it was that easy. “I’d rather not talk about it.”

  His father studied Will’s face for a few moments before rolling onto his back again. “All right, what shall we talk about then? I could tell you more details about women giving birth…”

  Both brothers spoke at the same time. “No!”

  Chapter 14

  A loud knocking on the bunkhouse door jerked Will awake.

  Dan sat bolt upright, although he still appeared to be asleep. “Sara?”

  Their father was the only one with the presence of mind to get up and open the door.

  Amy stood outside. “It’s time.”

  What followed was thirty seconds of barely controlled chaos as Will, Daniel, and their father struggled into clothing and boots and stumbled from the bunkhouse.

  It was still dark outside, although an orange glow in the sky to the east signaled the approaching sunrise. The three of them ran across the yard and burst into the house.

  The women were up, looking far calmer, not to mention much better put together, than any of the men. Things were happening. Towels were being fetched. The stove was being lit. The fire was being stoked.

  The bedroom door stood open. Daniel made straight for it.

  He disappeared inside and emerged a minute later, appearing a little uncomfortable. “I’ve been ordered to wait out here.”

  “We’ll come get you when it’s over,” Jo told him before she followed the rest of the women into the bedroom, ushered Bess into the living room, and closed the door.

  Bess sat down, gazing at the door with a whine.

  Will had rarely felt so helpless. What if something happened to Sara? What if something happened to the baby? He couldn’t take losing someone else he loved, not now.

  His father’s hand rested on his shoulder. “Come on, let’s sit down.”

  Will followed him to the settee and sat, because it was easier to do as he was told.

  His father turned to Daniel where he lingered by the bedroom door. “Dan?”

  He shook his head.

  Their father took a seat beside Will, and Dan began to pace back and fort
h across the room. Will wanted to join him, but there wasn’t the space for two pacers, especially when they both had strides as long as theirs.

  His knee began to bounce of its own accord. After half a minute, his father silently placed two fingers onto it, stilling its movement with a warning glance that Will knew well. It said, ‘If you keep doing that, I will send you to your room.’

  Every so often they heard Sara make a noise, and Dan would stop and stare at the bedroom door, flinching as if he himself were the one feeling the pain. And maybe he was. Will certainly was.

  “How long is this supposed to take?” Dan asked no one in particular, after at least fifteen minutes had passed.

  Or maybe it just felt like fifteen minutes. Will glanced at the clock on the mantel, but he didn’t know what time they’d got in there so it didn’t help. It read ten minutes after five.

  “It’s different with all babies,” their father said. “It’s nothing to worry about.”

  Despite his words, he looked worried.

  Will’s empty stomach was churning, but for once in his life, he didn’t feel at all like eating.

  A couple of minutes later they heard a sound that could have been a baby crying, but it didn’t last very long and wasn’t very loud. Not long after, it started up again, and then stopped again. When nothing else happened, Dan resumed his pacing.

  After ten more minutes, the door to the bedroom opened.

  Dan spun around, tripping over his feet in his haste to get across the room. He stumbled to a halt in front of Mrs. Wilson.

  She smiled. “Come on in.”

  He cast a nervous glance back at Will, and Will gave him the most supportive smile he could muster. At that moment, he was as scared as his brother.

  Dan walked into the bedroom and Mrs. Wilson closed the door behind them.

  Now the floor space was free, Will stood and took over the pacing. It felt like someone should. After half a minute, his father joined him.

  There was a brief moment of confusion as they crossed each other’s paths and almost collided.

  “We need a bigger room,” Will said, dodging around his father.

  His father looked at the door. “What’s taking them so long? I…”